(Source: vinebox, via no)

In the delivery room

tokomon:

mother: is it a boy or a girl?

doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor

(via pagingme)

fukkkres:

when you high at the dinner table

image

and your mom ask you to pass the collard greens

image

and you give her the mashed potatoes

image

where am i

(via ruinedchildhood)

asian:

asian:

so im shopping for make up for the girlfriend bc valentines day and holy fuck how do you girls afford this shit

$80 for eye shadow???

is it made out of unicorn shit

what is naked 3

why is it called naked

will it make her look naked

why is it $50

that’s 50 cheese burgers

i can’t deal with make up good bye

(via pizza)

asmono:

elleooelle:

Someone has a lot of explaining to do

the horror
How fascinating it is that there are millions of people all over the world who are wide awake at 4 am missing someone. And there are millions of people sound asleep at 4 am, with no idea that they’re being missed.

- please come back (via nashviille)

(via homesickatspace-camp)

sonicpinballparty:

mcbushpig:

when i was 8 i drew this comic about two girls kissing and my mom was out raged and i thought it was because my art wasn’t good enough so i kept trying to draw girls kissing and she sent me to therapy and my therapist tried explaining homosexuality to me and i didn’t even know what that had to do with my art skills

image

(Source: milch, via stability)

digitalmovie:


this is me about 98 percent of the time.
wiki-the-avatartimelord:

HE DOESN’T EVEN LOOK ASHAMEDHE’S JUST LIKEYEA, THAT’S ME, I DO THAT
silversora:


"Dave.."
"Fuck off Shaun I am taking a picture."
"DAVE."

blendablelion:

harroldstyle:

IM SO PISSED OFF THAT WE DONT HAVE BALLS ANY MORE
I WANT TO WEAR A HUGE DRESS AND BE COURTED AND DANCE AROUND AND HAVE MY GOWN SWEEP THE FLOOR AND BE ALL ELEGANT AND GRACEFUL WITH GLOVES AND SHIT

BUT NO WE HAVE DUMB HOUSE PARTIES WITH CHEAP BEER AND RED CUPS AND HORNY TEENAGE BOYS WHO PUT THEIR HANDS UP MY SHIRT 

for a second there i thought you were talking about testicles omg

(via iamroyaltynow)

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